I had a dream that I was running through the woods, sobbing in distress. My chest heaving almost spilling out of my dress when I suddenly fall. I looked up to see a man on top of a horse, but I could not see his face. I slowly reach out my hand and he lifted me on the back of the horse and we dash away into the darkness.

Such Grievous Pity for Myself I Feel

 

Such grievous pity for myself I feel

that bliss and agony

give me an equal share of suffering,

now that I must, alas, against my will,

so sorrowfully breathe                                             5

the trembling air of this my final sigh

here in the very heart your lovely eyes

wounded, when Love’s own hand first opened them

to bring me to this hour that marks my end.

How delicate and dear,                                           10

how tame and tender they appeared to me,

the day when they began

to set in motion this my death I dread,

saying, “’Tis in our light can peace be had.”

 

“Your heart shall now know peace, and you, delight,” 15
these eyes were more than one

by my fair lady’s told;

but when they could through intellect divine

that, drawn by all her might,

my whole mind had been snatched from me away     20

backward with Love’s own banners they took flight,

and nevermore was their victorious sight

ever to be beheld:

sad, and in great dismay,

my soul, that sought her solace, has been since;     25

and now this heart of mine,

to which my soul was bride, is almost dead,

seeing her, much in love, already fled.

 

In love, my soul is leaving now this life,

with tears of much distress,                                     30

for Love himself is bidding her depart.

Such is the grief with which she leaves this earth,

her very Maker hears,

before her journey, tenderly her plea.

Here, in the middle of my heart, she stays,              35

with still that bit of life that will be spent

the very moment she’ll be on her way;

and there does she lament

of Love, who sends her from this world away,

and oftentimes embraces                                        40

all of the spirits weeping bitterly

over the loss of their sweet company.

 

And still the image of this lady reigns

supreme above my mind,

there, where he placed her, who was once her guide. 45

About the harm she sees she does not care,

for more than ever fair,

and merrier, she seems to laugh at me.

Lifting her murderous eyes, she scolds and cries

over my soul that moans because it dies:                50

“Away, you wretch! Go from me fast away!”

So my desire cries out,

which fights me still as it has ever done,

although it hurts me less

all of my feelings being less intense                        55

and closer to the end of all distress.

 

The day this lady came unto this world,

judging by what is written

inside the book of this now failing mind,

although still very young, I felt and knew                  60

a passion strange and new,

that left me full of awe and terror-smitten.

All of my faculties were fast controlled,

and to the ground I fell

for one fast flash exploding in my heart:                   65

oh, if such book is right,

my greatest spirit knew so great a fright

one could most plainly see

that death had come for it upon this earth;

but sorry he’s now, who caused all this to be.          70

 

When the great beauty, then, appeared to me,

of what so makes me grieve,

O gentle ladies I have spoken to,

that virtue, full of all nobility,

watching a bliss so true,                                         75

was quick to see the dawning of its pain

and recognized the surging of desire

engendered by its own ecstatic gaze

and, therefore weeping, to all others said:

“Oh, not the one I saw,                                           80

but the fair image will at once be here,

which I already fear—

the one that lady of us all will be

as soon as her entrancing eyes agree.”

 

O youthful women, I have talked to you,                  85

who carry beauty in your lovely gaze,

and whom a thought of love can still subdue,

so that in every place

my words may be forever listened to.

Before you, I forgive                                                90

my very death, and do not even blame

that lovely thing whose mercy never came.