Greenspace Mentor Tags: Takeo Uesugi, Landscape, Eco-Campion, Campaign: none   160 Reviews Added: 2/23/2009 12:30 PM PT Last Modified: 2/23/2009 12:30 PM PT
Rate

Takeo Uesugi is a 13th generation Landscape Master.  Holding a PhD  in Landscape Architecture from Kyoto University, Dr. Uesugi creates the most sensitive and spiritually in-tune green environments ever. To sit and contemplate within one of his landscapes is truly a welcome departure from the mechanized excess of much of our urban space. A humble custodian and steward of natural elements, he continues to perfect his craft, and in so doing restores our confidence in the ability of mankind to do something beautiful in concert with nature. Kudos to a master Eco Champion!

Mr X Knows Tags: Mr X, horses, gysers, corndogs, GI Joe, Crayons Campaign: What's Hot or Not   17 Reviews Added: 12/5/2006 5:24 PM PT Last Modified: 2/7/2007 7:50 AM PT	Auto Post to Websites
Rate

OK, Mysterious Mr X needs to chime in here... obviously you guys know nothing about fashion, let alone what's hot and what's not. I know that's a brutal statement and some of you may be saying "Mr X, I thought you were my friend, why would you throw out such a horrendous and harmful statement such as that?" Well it's because I love you all like my own children and I don't want to see you making terrible mistakes where something as important as fashion is concerned. Want to find the uber best in fashion? Want to know what's hot? I'll give you 3 names you can trust: 1 - Big Lots 2 - The Dollar Store 3 - The Swapmeet Yes, these are the centers of fashion for anyone who's anybody. Let me explain. Forget what they are selling, it's crap. That's right. You're not there for the clothes, you're there for the people. You see, my little ones, if you go to one of these venues you we see the oddest people wearing the most marvelous collection of absurd clothing in the world... clothing you can't possibly find anywhere in the universe or the universe next door.. and it's so bad and so bizarre and soooo very awful that it's good... very good... to die for good. So I take a few bucks with me and offer them a five and a corndog for their shirt and it's usually good to go... why, I can get three complete outfits for under $75 (including corndogs) One of my favorite outfits is a pair of Japanese gardening boots, argyle socks, a Kilt with the Cameron Tartan with little wiener dogs , an exquisite Lawrence Welk tee with a cheery Sweater vest with the monogram "Lloyd" on it. Now really, you don't get much better than that. Last week I was in Big lots and I saw a lady wearing something that looked like a poodle... Ten bucks and a pack of cornnuts and it was mine. Trust me, it's the way to shop... just remember to run the items through the wash 9 or 10 times to make sure all the funky stuff is eradicated. Now for places to avoid, that's easy... A&F, American Eagle, Old Navy, Urban Outfitters, Nordstrom... the people there don't respond well to propositions of money... or corndogs for that matter... go figure. Now aren't you glad you listen to dear old Mr X? Where else would you find such fashion wisdom anywhere? Really.

I'm a Liar Tags: Campaign: My Job ____! - November   54 Reviews Added: 11/1/2006 9:29 AM PT Last Modified: 2/7/2007 7:48 AM PT	Auto Post to Websites
Rate

You know my job is probably one of the most unique and disturbing jobs ever since the dawn of man. And I know, I've been around that long. Let's face it, this world is full of strange and bizarre people who have phobias and fetishes and strange little dogs named Yasger. We're surrounded by them... we can't escape, believe me, I've tried... several different ways. So in a flash of inspiration I decided to capitalize on all this wierdness. Through a series of failures I finally zeroed in on a target group to provide services to. Now you may not be aware, but there is a whole undercurrent of social misfits out there who, believe it or not, have imaginary front lawns. Yep, imaginary front lawns... go figure. And I have discovered that most of these people would rather not do yard work. So... I am the official gardener to people with imaginary front lawns. I come every other week and mow their imaginary lawns with my imaginary Snapper 1-9515. They come out, nod their heads with appreciation and give me $25. Sweet! But that's not the best part. My routes have grown so large that now I have taken on 15 imaginary employees to help. We have 16 imaginary trucks, $50,000 in imaginary tools and 500 clients generating around $25,000 a month. I actually talked one client into enlarging his imaginary lawn by 300% to enable him to play football with the kids... cha ching! Hey, Stan, looks like you need a little 10-10-15 fertilizer on your blue fescue... cha ching! Edging? Oh that's an add-on... cha ching! It only gets better... Somehow this has become the chic thing to do. So now I have clients who really don't have imaginary lawns saying that they do... just to be popular! So now my imaginary crew takes care of everything... and I golf... on a real golf course. It may all come crashing down, though. One of my employees suffered dismemberment when one of the mowers exploded... he's sueing me... bummer man...

I'm a Liar Tags: French dressing, slime, toupees, humor, rust, phlem Campaign: My Job ______!   6 Reviews Added: 10/27/2006 10:19 AM PT Last Modified: 2/7/2007 7:47 AM PT	Auto Post to Websites
Rate

You know my job is probably one of the most unique and disturbing jobs ever since the dawn of man. And I know, I've been around that long. Let's face it, this world is full of strange and bizarre people who have phobias and fetishes and strange little dogs named Yasger. We're surrounded by them... we can't escape, believe me, I've tried... several different ways. So in a flash of inspiration I decided to capitalize on all this wierdness. Through a series of failures I finally zeroed in on a target group to provide services to. Now you may not be aware, but there is a whole undercurrent of social misfits out there who, believe it or not, have imaginary front lawns. Yep, imaginary front lawns... go figure. And I have discovered that most of these people would rather not do yard work. So... I am the official gardener to people with imaginary front lawns. I come every other week and mow their imaginary lawns with my imaginary Snapper 1-9515. They come out, nod their heads with appreciation and give me $25. Sweet! But that's not the best part. My routes have grown so large that now I have taken on 15 imaginary employees to help. We have 16 imaginary trucks, $50,000 in imaginary tools and 500 clients generating around $25,000 a month. I actually talked one client into enlarging his imaginary lawn by 300% to enable him to play football with the kids... cha ching! Hey, Stan, looks like you need a little 10-10-15 fertilizer on your blue fescue... cha ching! Edging? Oh that's an add-on... cha ching! It only gets better... Somehow this has become the chic thing to do. So now I have clients who really don't have imaginary lawns saying that they do... just to be popular! So now my imaginary crew takes care of everything... and I golf... on a real golf course. It may all come crashing down, though. One of my employees suffered dismemberment when one of the mowers exploded... he's sueing me... bummer man...