|
|
|
|
If you are one of those people that thinks the NBA is better than college basketball, then I have one request for you. I request that you hit yourself on the head a couple times until you knock some sense through your thick skull!
Where do I begin? First of all, there is this thing called MARCH MADNESS! With the exception of the NFL’s Super Bowl, this is undoubtedly the most exciting sporting event of the year! It really is MADNESS, as there is always a huge upset, as some small farm team from a non-sports school from some place like Vermont Community College always finds a way to knock off a #3 or #4 seed. Everybody loves a good Cinderella story! This is probably the best “reality TV” during the month of March.
Does the NBA have March Madness? No, they have what is called “THE NEVER-ENDING PLAYOFFS!” Their playoffs start around mid-April and do not end until mid-June! Mid-June!! Are you kidding me?! Talk about overkill, huh? Secondly, it’s way too easy to make the playoffs in the NBA. For the past couple of seasons, we have seen teams with LOSING records from the Eastern Conference make the playoffs! Really? How do you justify that? You will never see a college basketball team with a record of 14-18 be invited to participate in March Madness activities! (unless they win their conference tournament, of course)
And what about the fans and atmosphere? Have you ever been to an NBA game? Wow, talk about YAWN! Unless you are lucky enough to witness exciting players like Lebron James or Kobe Bryant, you’re going to find yourself falling asleep at NBA games. The fans at NBA games are extremely quiet and never show any life unless there is a game winning shot attempt with 1.3 seconds left in the 4th quarter. College basketball is a different story, though. Have you ever seen a Duke game? Ever seen the large number of fans painted in blue, bouncing up and down for nearly the ENTIRE game? Ever seen the energetic Dick Vitale hanging out in the stands and revving the fans up? What commentator in the NBA is more exciting than Dick Vitale? Anybody? Mark Jackson? Hubie Brown? Jeff Van Gundy? Marv Albert? None of those guys stand a chance! The only that comes close to Dick’s charisma is Jeff Van Gundy, but he only attracts excitement by running on the court, falling down, and being dragged around the court while clinging to a big center’s ankles. It’s fun to watch and would probably increase ratings, but Jeff would probably have to make a career change if he pulls such an act again. Dick Vitale should be the token spokesperson for all energy drinks! Heck, I think alarm clocks should replace the “BUZZ” function with a “DICK VITALE” function. Imagine sleeping in your cozy bed and suddenly waking up to an alarm clock at 5:30 in the morning that screams out “IT’S AWESOME, BABY!” That would be a sweet alarm clock! You got one of those? I’ll order it right now!
Yeah, sure, the NBA attracts more celebrities at games, but do you ever watch these guys at the games? Personally, I live about 5 minutes from the Orlando Magic and have been to a handful of their games. Many of times I have seen our homeboy, Tiger Woods, at our games, sitting in the front row. I was once tempted to walk down to his seat and dump a huge bucket of ice water on top of his head just to see if I could make him move! Wow, talk about a lame fan! Although, I do remember one game in particular where Dwight Howard made a HUGE dunk and nearly brought the whole backboard down. Tiger was so excited that he softly puts his hands together and offered a “polite” golf clap. Whoa, Tiger! Get a hold of yourself, you wild man, you! Geez . . . hey Tiger, we’re not on the golf course! You can make NOISE! You can show a little more emotion, ya know! What a waste of a good front row seat to have a statue as a fan sitting in it!
But do you see these kinds of fans in college basketball? Heck no!! College fans are anything but boring. In addition to the crazy Dukies at Duke, you have the fans that dress up in creative outfits to distract free throw shooters; you have the fans that constantly are dancing whether the team is losing or winning; and you have the crazy, supportive fans that storm the court after huge upsets. How can you not love that atmosphere?
Oh, one more thing about the perks of college basketball. These players are playing for free! They play for free, they play for pride, they play for respect, and unless they have a broken leg, they play every game. The NBA, on the other hand, has a bunch of divas that have to sit out two games whenever they have an upset stomach! “Oh, no, he has diarrhea . . . you better let him take a couple games off!” Come on! Or what about the NBA player that cuts a little too far when clipping his finger nails? “Oh, no, he has uneven fingernails . . . you better let him take a couple games off to let that nail grow back! We can’t be messing up his three point shot!” Come on!
When all is said and done, college basketball is simply more exciting than the NBA. And as long March Madness exists (and as long as the NBA playoffs last an ETERNITY), it will stay that way!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Stellar Selections
Tags: brickfish political dream team jack nicholson sylvester stallone robert de niro mark cuban contest
Campaign: Brickfish Political Dream Team
Added: 7/19/2008 3:00 PM PT
Last Modified: 7/19/2008 3:20 PM PT
|
|
|
|
It’s time for a change. It’s time to clean house and clear away the messes. It’s time for classy, slick and money savvy individuals to take over this country. My fellow Americans, I now introduce you to the Dream Team that is ready to point our proud country in the right direction:
President: JACK NICHOLSON
Jack is back and he’s sitting in our oval office. How cool is Jack? Does anybody hate this guy? Do the ladies hate him? Um, according to the number of girlfriends he has had, that answer would have to be “no.” Do the guys hate him? Um, are you kidding? Every guy WISHES he was Jack Nicholson. Everybody on this whole planet worships Jack. He is the only living soul that can go around in the darkest of nights with his sunglasses on and never get ridiculed for it. You have to be REALLY cool to pull that off. Plus, his love for sunglasses will surely help the economy, as all of the sunglasses companies will sell TONS of sunglasses to Jack worshippers, thus, they will be hiring several more employees to keep up with the large demands. Jack will not be your ordinary U.S. President that does stuff like sitting at the front rows of a NBA or NFL game and acting like a dead turtle on a stump. When Jack goes to NBA games, he actually cares about the game! He doesn’t go to the games “just to be seen.” He goes to the games because he has passion for the games and the athletes! That is what we need as president. We need a man who shows passion! If you can’t even show the least bit of passion for a fun and simple sports game, then you are not relating to several people that live in your country. You have to show them that you are not a heartless robot. Jack is not a robot. Jack understands the average fan’s love of the game, and the American people will respect him for that.
Jack is so cool that other world leaders would be afraid to argue with him. Who wants to create enemies with the cool guy? If you create enemies with the cool guy, then everybody will think something is wrong with you and you will lose all of your allies. Jack’s cool attitude will get him what he wants. Oil will never be a problem if Jack is our president. He wouldn’t even have to do anything to get more oil. Once word is out that Jack is president, other world leaders will be calling Jack non-stop and begging for Jack to take their oil. The only thing they will demand in return is to be Jack’s friend. The power of coolness, my friends . . . the POWER of coolness.
Vice President: ROBERT DE NIRO
Let’s face it, Robert De Niro is simply the only guy that’s cool enough to take over as president if anything happens to Jack. One of his tasks will be getting higher wages for taxi drivers. De Niro realizes that many taxi drivers are shortchanged, under-tipped, and have way too much vomit to clean up in the back seat. He is ready to make some changes happen and he will make taxi driving one of the most sought after and respectable professions when he is in office. De Niro is a respected man. We all respect him so much that we even pull for him when he is the “bad guy.” But maybe there is one person that has a problem with De Niro. Is that person you? Do you have a problem with De Niro being Vice President? Do you have something to say to him? You talking to him? You talking to him? You talking to him??
Secretary of Defense: SYLVESTER STALLONE
Sly will do a tremendous job in keeping our country safe. The best thing about having Sly on the defense staff is that we no longer have to worry about sending thousands and thousands of troops overseas to risk their young lives. If there is a problem that requires deadly forces, only one person will be sent over. That one person will be Sly. If sending just one man sounds crazy, then go do yourself a favor and watch RAMBO! Sly doesn’t need our help. He’s a one-man army! Oh, if you’re worried about our protection if Sly goes overseas, then worry no longer. De Niro will cover his back when he is gone. You’ll be safe with De Niro. “He knows people.”
Treasurer: MARK CUBAN
Mark Cuban, the beloved billionaire who currently owns the NBA franchise, Dallas Mavericks, has the tools to complete this dream team. Cuban is not your typical rich guy that became wealthy from inheritance. He is a self-made man who was once just tending bars and giving disco lessons. The man earned all of his money on his own. What better man to handle our money than a guy like that? Not only will he be treasurer, but he will be given the duty of putting his sports passion to work and will be assigned to do a project with men’s soccer and women’s basketball. Cuban will use his creative and persuasive powers to help make these sports bigger and more successful than they ever were. He will find a way to get more fans in seats, which will prove financially beneficial to several cities. Plus, he will give more girls the power to dream big, as he will add more professional women’s basketball teams around the country. The ladies can ball, too!
Folks, you can’t go wrong with this four-some, so go vote right away! Vote today! Vote for Jack and the rest of his comrades. You won’t be sorry. This four-some is “as good as it gets!”
|
|
|
|
|
|
Guitar Hero? Or Guitar Zero?
Tags: Internet Fraud - Share Your Story Escrow Contest
Campaign: Internet Fraud - Share Your Story!
Added: 5/15/2008 12:23 AM PT
Last Modified: 7/15/2008 10:59 PM PT
|
|
|
|
“Guitar HERO? Or Guitar ZERO?”
Once upon a time, I had a sudden urge to play the guitar. I had dreams of going to parties and being the guy who got things rocking by playing some Clapton tunes. I had dreams of putting together a song and singing it for lovely ladies. I had dreams of being the rock star hero of all my nephews and nieces.
So I went onto this site that rhymes with “Peg’s List.” After several minutes of browsing through various guitars, I found this one particular acoustic guitar that was listed as being 70% off retail price! The description stated Eric Clapton had once used this exact same model! I was like “Dang, Eric Clapton? Sold!” I promptly contacted the seller, who was very responsive and eager to make the sale. He allegedly had just purchased a brand new guitar, so he apparently didn’t need this one anymore. He advised that it was only 5 months old and was in mint condition, and was worth close to $500. After exchanging a handful of e-mails with him, I was like “Sure, why not?” I then proceeded to send the seller a check for $130. I really thought I made out good. I found a guitar that was on sale for a huge discount (allegedly) . . . and one of my all-time favorite artists, Eric Clapton, had used this model before. I was super stoked! I was already picking out Clapton songs that I would attempt to play once I received my new guitar.
Weeks later, I received the guitar. I opened the package like an anxious, impatient kid on Christmas morning. I hoped to immediately strum like a pro, but I never played guitar before, so my hopes of magically and instantly becoming a rock star were temporarily disabled. I discovered that playing guitar is much more difficult to pick up than riding a bicycle.
I later visited my guitar-guru-neighbor for tips on how to learn to play this dang thing. He was more than willing to help me out, but I noticed he had a strange look on his face when I revealed the guitar to him. He moved in for a closer look and then took the guitar from my hands. He thoroughly inspected it from end to end, and much to my dismay, he stated “I wouldn’t pay $20 for this garbage. Eric Clapton wouldn’t touch this with a 10 foot pole.”
I was shocked to hear him say that. The guitar looked fine to me, although, I was pretty much a “guitar idiot,” so I didn’t know a good one from a bad one. I thought my guitar was legit, but he pulled out his own guitar and did the whole “compare and contrast” process. I immediately noticed a huge difference. My guitar appeared to be much more fragile than his. It was also considerably smaller. My guitar just seemed so “feeble” compared to his. The basic conclusion was that my guitar was more or less a cheap piece of wood with what appeared to be dental floss as strings. My friend tried to humor himself by playing a couple tunes on it, but he couldn’t do anything with it. Seeing how he has been playing guitar virtually all his life, I knew there would be no chance I could make music out of this thing if he couldn’t. My friend referred to this guitar as a “very cheap starter guitar.” He said he wouldn’t even buy this guitar for his 5 year old nephew. In other words . . . my new guitar was pretty much useless. My guitar dreams were instantly shattered.
He recommended that I return the guitar for a refund. Unfortunately, the person I bought it from had clearly stated “No Refunds” in his listing. And now I know why! I sent the seller an e-mail, but he apparently never found time to reply.
After accepting the fact that I had basically paid $130 for a piece of crap, I attempted to make a positive out of a negative. Since I wouldn’t be playing this guitar any time soon, and since I could not return it for a refund, I retrieved a hammer and some nails, and hung the guitar up in my living room.
It’s a crappy guitar, but it makes a pretty cool wall decoration! A great fit for a bachelor’s pad! In addition, this wall decoration serves as a great reminder to never fall for another online scam.
I am very bitter about being scammed by this online crook. I do realize that I should take the brunt of the blame for making such a risky transaction with a shady stranger, but despite my foolishness, I still hold this man accountable and I still hold evil thoughts for this man!
If I ever find out what this guy looks like . . . and if I ever see this guy on the street, I’m going to hit him on the head with my nephew’s little league baseball bat. I’ll then look at his bruised face and say “Check out this bat. Babe Ruth used the same exact model!”
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mr. Slick is Here
Tags: as Slick as it Gets Head Blade
Campaign: As Slick As It Gets
Added: 6/10/2008 12:38 AM PT
Last Modified: 6/12/2008 9:44 AM PT
|
|
|
|
Who is the slickest of them all? Well, that’s me, of course. You might say that I’m so slick that you might find a picture of me in the dictionary, by the word “slick.” But no, you will not find me there. I’m so slick, you’ll find me on the COVER of the dictionary.
I’m slick because I have never burnt my head after shaving it, which is even slicker given the fact that I live in the sunny state of Florida.
I’m slick because I never cried after cutting myself while shaving my head. There’s no crying in shaving.
I’m slick because I always cut my own hair. It has been 14 years since I have been to a barber. By my calculations, I would have spent approximately $225 per year on haircuts. So, times that by 14 and you have a current total slick savings of $3,150.00
I’m slick because I can make cheap sunglasses look cool.
I'm slick because I was snowboarding before snowboarding was cool.
I’m slick because I won my fantasy basketball league last season.
I’m slick because I have the single season record for most homeruns and RBI’s on my softball team.
I’m slick because, to this day, I am the only person from my hometown to ever represent the Vermont football all-star shrine team.
I’m slick because I draw flowers for dates. They appreciate that because a cute drawing comes from the heart. Any idiot can BUY a flower.
I’m slick because an old girlfriend and I once got a free dessert at a restaurant because I had told the waitress it was our honeymoon. Truth be told, I had only known this girl for about one month, but the waitress totally fell for it despite the lack of wedding rings on our fingers. Shameless slickishness at its finest!
I’m slick because I have a red heart-shaped birthmark under my right elbow - most other people have ugly brown smudges for birthmarks. It just goes to show that even fellahs like me have a heart.
I’m slick because I can make a fluffernutter sandwich without ripping the bread apart with the fluff. It’s easier said than done, folks.
I’m slick because I was driving tractors and trucks on hayfields by age 11. Most other 11 year olds were still riding bicycles with baseball cards in their spokes so they could pretend they had an engine.
I’m slick because I once rode a bull while living on my farm. How long was I on him? It was not very long. I had to get off him . . . I had more slick things to accomplish . . . I couldn’t be wasting my whole day on top of a bull!
I’m slick because I play a mean game of table shuffleboard.
I’m slick because I’m secure enough with my manhood to wear my purple softball jersey in public places.
I’m slick because I was the only brave soul to wear shorts every day during a frigid Vermont winter. And no, I didn’t do it because I lost a bet. I did it because I wanted to.
I’m slick because I have never been foolish enough to attempt the old “eat a tablespoon of cinnamon” challenge.
I’m slick because I am the only person I know that can stuff a tennis ball between their big toe and toe #2, and then pick the ball up from the floor.
I’m slick because I brought my weight down from 225 pounds to 180 pounds in the year of 2006. That treadmill still has my footprints implanted on it. That treadmill got OWNED!
I’m slick because I used to get in the middle of big circles at dance clubs and would take my shoes off, revealing my shiny white socks . . . and then I would do what I called the “slippery dance” on the dance floor. Everybody was in pure awe.
I’m slick because I always have a horseshoes set in the back of my truck - I’m always ready to nail two metal stakes in someone’s backyard for a competitive game of horseshoes at a summer barbecue.
Did you ask if I’m the guy in that picture that is about to fling a horseshoe? The answer is NO. I’m the guy beside him. I haven’t shot yet. I always let the losers shoot first.
I’m slick because it’s been over 8 years since I have gotten sick. That may be due to me taking daily vitamins. . . or maybe it’s simply because I’m too slick for sick.
I’m slick because I have a guitar hanging on my living room wall. That whole idea of hanging pictures on your wall is so unoriginal.
I’m slick because I can still make the biggest splash in a cannonball contest. Who wants to take me on? You got a swimming pool? Ok, then! I’ll be there in 10 minutes. Bring it!
I’m slick because I can break wind in awkward public situations and then make other people think it was their fault.
Are you in disbelief yet? I hope not, because there are many more slick things to come your way from this fellah! Stay tuned!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Love your Skin!
Tags: empowher the gift of giving women's health
Campaign: The Gift of Giving
Added: 4/8/2008 3:05 PM PT
Last Modified: 6/4/2008 12:42 PM PT
|
|
|
|
In regards to women’s health, I would like to discuss the topic of skin. I live here in the sunny state of Florida, and all too often, I witness countless numbers of women exposing their precious skin for hours on end in the sunlight at beaches and pools.
My philosophy with skin is simple. If your skin was meant to be dark, then it already would be. I realize it’s always nice to improve the appearance of your body. If you’re overweight, then go ahead and workout and eat healthier foods. If you have a cavity, then go ahead and go to the dentist. If you look bad in red, then go to the store and buy some blue blouses. If you have split ends, then go ahead and go to the salon. But, please, ladies, don’t try to change your skin. Please leave it be. It looks fine just the way it is. Skin cancer is no laughing matter. Even tanning beds can easily give you skin cancer. And let’s not forget the aging factor. The sun can do wonders on making you look OLDER if you get too much of it. Who wants to look older? These excessive sun rays can also affect your immune system. So, in addition to risking yourself of cancer, you could also be calling in for more sick days in the future. It’s just not worth it.
The funny thing is that while most of us tan to look better, most of us end up looking WORSE after tanning! I can not tell you how many times I have seen women looking like flaming lobsters because they baked in the sun too long. Sometimes, women get so burnt, they become covered in redness and sun blisters, and they become too ashamed to even be seen in public for a couple days.
Please don’t tan to gain the attention of the guys. When talking about the appearances of females, we talk about many things. We talk about nice legs; nice buttocks; nice chest; nice lips; nice smile; nice teeth; nice abs; nice arms; nice tattoos; nice eyes; nice piercings; and even nice feet. But I will be honest with you – I’m 31 years old and have had SEVERAL chats with guys about women during my life and NOT ONCE have I heard any of the guys say “She is totally hot! Have you seen the tan on that girl??” It just doesn’t happen. We just don’t care that much about tans. So if your motivation for a tan is to impress the opposite sex, you’re more than likely wasting your time.
I also realize that there are some women who tan for other reasons. Some may tan to cover up blemishes or bad skin. Well, I am no doctor, but I would guess that there is not one single doctor who would recommend excessive tanning to cure bad skin! I suffered from very bad skin when I was younger and I eventually found a much simpler and safer solution to treat my skin rather than risking my health in the sun and in tanning beds. I simply drank more water; I started taking vitamins; I got more fresh air; and I cut down my intake of sodas and sugar. If that doesn’t help improve your skin, then I would recommend seeing a dermatologist – not the tanning bed.
Yes, I understand that there may be moments when you feel darker skin is ABSOLUTELY vital. It could be a big date, or a big conference, or your own wedding. If you really believe that you are in desperate and immediate need of dark skin, I would simply recommend using sunless sprays and lotions. They can give you a nice temporary tan, and they don’t even burn you or put your health in jeapordy! Of course, when I say “lotions,” I’m not referring to that cheap bottle of lotion in the discount store. Those cheap lotions will just make you an orange and smeared mess. My sister once tried one of those cheap sunless tan lotions. She ended up looking like a human carrot! If you are in need of sunless tanning, please go to a salon. More and more of today’s tanning salons are now offering high quality sunless spray methods, so that would definitely be a safe and effective choice to use if you need to darken yourself in a hurry.
Like I said before, excessive tanning without proper protection is just not worth the risk. Burns, wrinkles, blisters, cancer, weakened immune systems . . . do we really want all of that?
Oh, I almost forgot one more point. What if somebody walks in on you when you are undressing after a long day of unprotected tanning? How silly does that look when they see you naked? Red arms, red legs, red stomach, red face . . . and a WHITE BUTT!! That white butt sticks out more than Rudolph’s red nose! That just looks silly!
I’m not saying we should not enjoy the beaches or pools. I am simply asking that we all enjoy these moments with a little protection. Whether it be sun block, umbrellas, or hats . . . please use something to protect yourself from skin cancer.
Ladies, your skin is just fine. I don’t care how dark or pale your skin is. I don’t care how skinny or heavy you are. I don’t care how tall or short you are. If you want to look better, all you have to do is . . . SMILE! A nice smile always beats a nice tan!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Pedal to Metal!
Tags: if only you'd heard it coming air drives stereo phones
Campaign: If Only You'd Heard It Coming!
Added: 3/20/2008 12:25 AM PT
Last Modified: 5/3/2008 11:42 AM PT
|
|
|
|
When I was in 7th grade, I had a huge crush on one of my classmates. Her name was Jan; however, I was extremely shy, so I never did anything about it. I rarely even talked to her. My shyness prevented me from communicating with her, so I did the next best thing a 7th grader could think of - I showed off for her!
I would always give an extra effort when I knew she was around. If I was playing kickball, I would kick the ball a little harder. If I was playing tag, I would run a little faster. If I was playing dodge ball, I would nail more people in the head with the ball. I did all the showing off I could do, but it wasn’t working, because she still hadn’t tried to kiss me yet!
But one day, right before school ended, I heard one of my classmates, Karin, talking to Jan. I heard them discussing plans of both going to Karin’s house after school, which immediately got me excited because Karin was my neighbor! This presented me with yet another opportunity to show off for Jan!
Once the bell rang, I sprinted outside and hopped on my bicycle. I only lived two miles from school, so I always rode my bike instead of the smelly bus. Plus, rumor had it that a high school freshman had apparently stated that I had great legs. Whoa! That’s a big compliment to hear when you are in 7th grade! So, needless to say, I continued to ride my bicycle so I could continue to keep my legs in shape and continue to gain compliments from girls!
My plan was to ride as fast as I could to my home. Once home, I would hop on my father’s biggest tractor, take my shirt off, and then drive the tractor onto one of our hay fields. You see, I grew up on a farm, and one of our hay fields was literally attached to Karin’s backyard. Yes, it may seem young to be driving a big tractor at such a young age, but hey, that’s how we roll in the small town!
This was a splendid plan. I would not only impress her by driving a big tractor, but I would also impress her by taking my shirt off and revealing my bony, pasty white, underdeveloped upper body. This was one of my best plans to date.
As I was riding home, I was listening to some groovy Motley Crue with my headphones. Listening to headphones while riding a bicycle is never a safe combination, but I did not care. It was my thing. It got me pumped up! It kept this farm boy rocking!
I was about halfway home when my ear phones slipped off my head. I had to immediately stop and adjust them. I did so in a quick manner, because I did not have much time to beat Karin and Jan. It was important to beat them home. I wanted them to see me on the tractor the very second that they arrived home, or else they would probably end up sitting in Karin’s room the whole night, brushing each other's hair, paying no attention to any studly, shirtless farmers that were outside on tractors.
After adjusting my ear phones, I sped off again. Moments later, my cassette player fell out of my pocket. Doh!! It slammed to the ground, and there were bits and pieces everywhere on the pavement. I quickly applied my brakes so I could clean up this unfortunate mess and make sure my Motley Crue tape was not harmed.
Just as I stopped, I heard a noise. It was a car horn, accompanied by some screeching. Apparently, I was so caught up in my music that I had not realized I had been riding in the middle of the road instead of the shoulder. I immediately froze, trying my best not to pee my pants. I then looked around to see what vehicle had nearly killed me.
It was a red pickup truck. It was the same red pickup truck that Mary drove. Who is Mary, you ask? Mary is Karin’s mother.
And yes, Karin was with her, and so was Jan.
I could see Karin and Jan looking at me through the passenger’s side window of the vehicle. Mary rolled the window down and asked if I was OK. I really wasn’t OK. I was totally humiliated, but I lied and said I was fine. After making sure I was OK, and after providing me with a brief lecture about how stupid it is to ride a bike with headphones, Mary drove off.
I waved to them as they drove off, all the while watching Karin and Jan, who continued to stare at me. They were smiling and giggling to their heart’s content. I was embarrassed beyond belief, especially since Jan, of all people, was able to witness this catastrophe!
I then gathered up my mutilated cassette player and rode home. I aborted the shirtless/tractor driving plan. It was a lost cause. I would save the shirtless/tractor plan for another day. I arrived home, fed some cows, and played video games for the rest of the night.
Needless to say, I had lost a large amount of pride that day. I was so devastated about not impressing Jan, that I rarely thought about the fact that I should just be happy that I was STILL ALIVE! I totally could’ve gotten run over! Thank God for Mary’s good brakes!
It wasn’t meant to be, anyways . . . Jan didn’t even like Motley Crue!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Nate! What are you doing?!?!
Tags: funniest sports moments
Campaign: Share Your Funniest Sports Moment!
Added: 3/29/2008 1:26 AM PT
Last Modified: 3/29/2008 3:57 AM PT
|
|
|
|
Well, I’ve been involved in sports all my life, so it’s hard to pick just one hilarious incident, but there is one incident that does stick out more in mind than any other incident. It happened during my basketball season in 6th grade.
We were a small farm town school and didn’t have much for athletes. Most of the people in my town were better at milking cows than they were at shooting hoops, so as you can imagine, our basketball team was pretty horrid.
My 6th grade basketball team only had 5 games scheduled for the season, but anybody who saw us play would say that was 5 games too many.
I remember our last game of the season. As usual, we were losing. We weren’t just losing – we were getting demolished. By the time the 4th quarter started, we were down by about 30 points. The opposing team had just scored yet another basket against our hapless excuse for a defense.
I took the ball out of bounds and threw the inbounds pass to my buddy, Nate. This was the first time in Nate’s life that he had ever played basketball, so it was always an adventure when he had hold of the ball. Normally, he would dribble the ball off his feet or get called for double dribbling or traveling. He never ceased to amaze us with his uncanny athleticism. On this day in particular, he took us on a brand new journey.
Nate caught my inbounds pass as everybody else began to make their way to the other side of the court. Nate caught the ball and froze. He then looked around the court, then looked back at me, and then, for some reason unknown to mankind, he shot the ball. He shot the ball. No, he did not shoot the ball at the opposing team’s basket. He shot it at OUR basket. I stood there, frozen in shock and disbelief as he lofted a sorry excuse for a shot toward the hoop. Thankfully, he had horrible shooting skills, so the ball clanked off the rim. I was actually impressed that he even caught rim to be honest with you. Unfortunately, though, the ball bounced back toward Nate on the rebound. He caught the rebound and I swear he was going to shoot at our basket again, as he was apparently totally oblivious to all the people that were yelling “WRONG BASKET!” Knowing our team’s luck, this would probably be the first time that Nate would ever MAKE a basket!
In fear that he might shoot at our own basket again, I quickly ran toward him and tried to steal the ball from him. As I was doing this, an opposing player from the other team had made his way to us and he joined in the efforts of trying to steal the ball from Nate. It was the most pathetic display you could ever imagine. Two players, from TWO DIFFERENT teams, trying to steal the ball away from ONE individual!
I was eventually able to steal the ball from Nate. He gave me the blankest stare when I took that ball from him. And I still, to this day, don’t think he has any clue why I had taken the ball from him!
I’m not sure what was more comical - the fact that Nate shot at the wrong basket, or the fact that Nate was having the ball stolen from him by an opponent AND a TEAMMATE!
One thing I am sure of is that was the funniest sports moment I’ve ever been involved in! I am also sure that our team was the worst team to ever step on a basketball court!
|
|
|
|
|
|
There is no question who will win March Madness this year. It’s a no-brainer, folks! NORTH CAROLINA TAR HEELS!! This is the most complete and skilled team in the NCAA. Oh, and they have some guy by the name of Tyler Hansbrough! Do you know who he is? If you don’t, just ask Kenny George. Kenny is a towering 7’07”, but Tyler was still able to dunk IN HIS FACE! He made the tallest man in the league look like the wimpiest kid on the playground! If you listened closely, you could hear those little people from South Park screaming “OH MY GOD, HE KILLED KENNY!”
Well, Tyler did not literally kill Kenny, but he definitely killed Kenny’s ego, along with every other man who has gone up against Tyler. Tyler is a man possessed! Tyler will not be stopped. Look at the man’s numbers! He averages around 23 points and 11 rebounds per game, he shoots over 50% from the field, and he shoots over 80% from the charity stripe, which is almost unheard of for a big man like that to be so accurate from the free throw line! Hey Shaq, take some notes!! Tyler is the real deal, folks! He gets plenty of attention from defenses, but still manages to put up huge numbers.
Oh, and if by chance you somehow stop Tyler . . . well, then there is Wayne Ellington and Ty Lawson, who combine for over 30 points per game! Oh, but what if Ty Lawson gets hurt?? Oh, wait, we already know the answer, don’t we? Quentin Thomas stepped in Lawson’s place and was solid all the way, and allowed the Tar Heels to continue with their winning ways!
Oh, and just for kicks and giggles, lets throw in the best and most versatile 6th man in the country, Dan Green, who plays stubborn defense and averages over 10 points a game off the bench. When Green enters the game, it’s just like tax season. You think you’ve earned all the money you can get, but then BAM, you get a tax refund as an added bonus off the bench! Mr. Green is money in the bank, baby!
The Tar Heels can’t be stopped! Some members of this team are still bitter about losing in the tourney last year, and they are out this year to make up for last year’s downfall. They are HUNGRY and TALENTED. That’s a deadly combination, folks! This team is LETHAL. This team is too good to be true. Somebody PINCH ME, because I must be dreaming. Oh, and when I say “pinch me,” this request is directed toward the lovely Tar Heel lady fans, who are the most stunning and beautiful creatures that God has ever created! Isn’t it amazing how the best teams always have the prettiest fans?
Oh, geez, I almost forgot! We also got some coach by the name of Roy Williams! Just another chump off the block, right? Yeah, ok. . . If that “block” is a block full of basketball ICONS, then yeah, he’s another chump off the old block! Nothing makes a player feel more comfortable than playing in a big tournament under the direction of such an experienced coach that has been through it all like Roy has.
Yes! North Carolina is going all the way, baby!!
Oh, what’s that? Do I hear opposing views? From who??
Memphis??? Oh, please, don’t get too excited about their nice start. The Memphis basketball team will be just like a Memphis country song. It starts out all nice and great, but in the end, you lose your girl, you lose your pride, and you even lose your dog.
Duke??? No way. This team is OVER RATED!! The only reason they look so good is because their football team looks sooooooo bad!
Kansas??? Ok, whatever. Hey, in case you didn’t know . . . Danny Manning graduated like two decades ago!
Georgetown??? Come on, Hoyas, fans, you guys are just pretenders and you know it! You have no consistency on offense. Seriously . . . if you guys couldn’t win a championship with guys like Allen Iverson and Alonzo Mourning, then what makes you think you can win one with Hibbert? This guy gets way too much hype. He can’t even average 15 points a game . . . what kind of all-star is that?
Texas??? Everything is bigger in Texas, right? If that’s the case, then buy an extra set of crying towels, because your heartbreak is going to be ENORMOUS!
Wisconsin??? Oh, gosh, didn’t you cheese heads suffer enough heartbreak with the Packers choking in the NFC championship? Oh, and your Badger football team also choked in their big bowl game, didn’t they? Well, heck, let’s keep the trend going, what do ya say? Do you really think anybody takes your team seriously? Seriously??
Tennessee??? You guys have NEVER won a NCAA basketball championship in your school’s history! What makes you think anything will change? You are not ready to be on top of the basketball world, and you certainly proved that by getting schooled by Vanderbilt IMMEDIATELY after landing a #1 ranking! Stick to football, folks!
And last, and certainly least . . . the WEST teams! UCLA, Stanford, etc . .. .
Ok, all you western people, please don’t waste our time! The entire western portion of the United States has only won 2 championships in the last 17 years!!! Nobody cares about you guys! Your sole purpose in sports is to fill the late night time slots on TV so people can watch basketball instead of lame late-night infomercials trying to sell hair restoration medicine! And sadly for you, most of us would rather watch the infomercials!
Come on, Tar Heels! Lets win this one for Eve Carson!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Pedal to Medal!
Tags: Air Drive If only you'd heard it coming blunders mishaps near misses funny tractor
Campaign: none
Added: 3/20/2008 12:14 AM PT
Last Modified: 3/20/2008 12:14 AM PT
|
|
|
|
When I was in 7th grade, I had a huge crush on one of my classmates. Her name was Jan; however, I was extremely shy, so I never did anything about it. I rarely even talked to her. My shyness prevented me from communicating with her, so I did the next best thing a 7th grader could think of - I showed off for her!
I would always give an extra effort when I knew she was around. If I was playing kickball, I would kick the ball a little harder. If I was playing tag, I would run a little faster. If I was playing dodge ball, I would nail more people in the head with the ball. I did all the showing off I could do, but it wasn’t working, because she still hadn’t tried to kiss me yet!
But one day, right before school ended, I heard one of my classmates, Karin, talking to Jan. I heard them discussing plans of both going to Karin’s house after school, which immediately got me excited because Karin was my neighbor! This presented me with yet another opportunity to show off for Jan!
Once the bell rang, I sprinted outside and hopped on my bicycle. I only lived two miles from school, so I always rode my bike instead of the smelly bus. Plus, rumor had it that a high school freshman had apparently stated that I had great legs. Whoa! That’s a big compliment to hear when you are in 7th grade! So, needless to say, I continued to ride my bicycle so I could continue to keep my legs in shape and continue to gain compliments from girls!
My plan was to ride as fast as I could to my home. Once home, I would hop on my father’s biggest tractor, take my shirt off, and then drive the tractor onto one of our hay fields. You see, I grew up on a farm, and one of our hay fields was literally attached to Karin’s backyard. Yes, it may seem young to be driving a big tractor at such a young age, but hey, that’s how we roll in the small town!
This was a splendid plan. I would not only impress her by driving a big tractor, but I would also impress her by taking my shirt off and revealing my bony, pasty white, underdeveloped upper body. This was one of my best plans to date.
As I was riding home, I was listening to some groovy Motley Crue with my headphones. Listening to headphones while riding a bicycle is never a safe combination, but I did not care. It was my thing. It got me pumped up! It kept this farm boy rocking!
I was about halfway home when my ear phones slipped off my head. I had to immediately stop and adjust them. I did so in a quick manner, because I did not have much time to beat Karin and Jan. It was important to beat them home. I wanted them to see me on the tractor the very second that they arrived home, or else they would probably end up sitting in Karin’s room the whole night, listening to Madonna tapes, paying no attention to any studly, shirtless farmers that were outside on tractors.
After adjusting my ear phones, I sped off again. Moments later, my cassette player fell out of my pocket. Doh!! It slammed to the ground, and there were bits and pieces everywhere on the pavement. I quickly applied my brakes so I could clean up this unfortunate mess and make sure my Motley Crue tape was not harmed.
Just as I stopped, I heard a noise. It was a car horn, accompanied by some screeching. Apparently, I was so caught up in my music that I had not realized I had been riding in the middle of the road instead of the shoulder. I immediately froze, trying my best not to pee my pants. I then looked around to see what vehicle had nearly killed me.
It was a red pickup truck. It was the same red pickup truck that Mary drove. Who is Mary, you ask? Mary is Karin’s mother.
And yes, Karin was with her, and so was Jan.
I could see Karin and Jan looking at me through the passenger’s side windows of the vehicle. Mary rolled the window down and asked if I was OK. I really wasn’t OK. I was totally humiliated, but I lied and said I was fine. After making sure I was OK, and after providing me with a brief lecture about how stupid it is to ride a bike with headphones, Mary drove off.
I waved to them as they drove off, all the while watching Karin and Jan, who were continuing to stare at me. They were smiling and giggling to their heart’s content. I was embarrassed beyond belief, especially since Jan, of all people, was able to witness this catastrophe!
I then gathered up my mutilated cassette player and rode home. I aborted the shirtless/tractor driving plan. It was a lost cause. I would save the shirtless/tractor plan for another day. I arrived home, fed some cows, and played video games for the rest of the night.
Needless to say, I had lost a large amount of pride that day. I was so devastated about not impressing Jan, that I rarely thought about the fact that I should just be happy that I was STILL ALIVE! I totally could’ve gotten run over! Thank God for Mary’s good brakes!
It wasn’t meant to be, anyways . . . Jan didn’t even like Motley Crue!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Baseball Bonding
Tags: sports changed my life baseball father son bonding
Campaign: Sports Changed My Life
Added: 3/15/2008 12:21 PM PT
Last Modified: 3/16/2008 12:54 AM PT
|
|
|
|
They say that baseball can bring fathers and sons closer together. Me and my father are no exceptions to that statement.
I grew up on a large farm in a small town in Vermont, during which time me and my father spent a lot of time together working on the daily chores. I’d throw the hay bales off the wagon and he’d retrieve them and stack them neatly in the barn. He’d drive a tractor to mow the fields, and I’d drive the other tractor to rake the fields. I’d clean the barn stalls and feed the calves and pigs, and he’d milk the cows. We spent countless hours on the farm, but never really had any father-son bonding during that time. We never talked much during our farm chores. We would do our thing, then step inside the house, and then eat dinner. I would then watch TV or play video games while he would read the newspaper and fall asleep in his chair. This routine was conducted day in and day out.
I was always big into sports, but my father . . . not so much. He had never played sports when he was young. During his youth, he spent all of his time working on a farm. He had no time to participate in sports.
We really didn’t have much to talk about during my pre-teen years. I was still shy and afraid of girls at that point, so that was never a topic of conversation that I could uphold. My father did not follow sports very much, so that was never a topic of conversation that he could uphold. Our bonding was off to a slow start!
But, one summer, when I was 13, our small town decided to start a Babe Ruth baseball team. I had never had the chance to play baseball before, so I was definitely pumped up for this chance. When the announcement was made, me and several of my friends signed up immediately. We had enough players signed up . . . but we didn’t have a coach.
To my surprise, my father signed up to be the coach. Everything changed after that. He really didn’t know much about baseball, but he did his best to learn the game. He even bought various “how to coach” videos, which we would watch together after farm chores. He would even read more sports magazines so he could get a better grasp of what he got himself into!
Our town was too poor to have its own baseball field, so we had to practice on one of our hay fields. I went out with the lawnmower and mowed the field while my father measured out a baseball diamond on a ground that was anything but level. We had lots of bumps and tractor ruts in that field, but hey, it was OUR field, so we loved it! I think we spent more time looking for lost balls in ditches than we did playing baseball. If it rained, we’d all play catch inside one of the barns. Heck, on one rainy day, my whole team spent two hours in the barn, unloading and stacking hay! Gotta love that! That sure made chores easier for me and my old man on that day!
Before baseball, our nights used to consist of me playing video games and him sleeping on the chair. But things were now different. The relationship between my father and I became much stronger during this time.
Once my father became the coach, we spent every night conversing about our team. We worked out the batting order together; we debated who should be the starting pitcher next game; we discussed what kinds of bats we should use; we computed all of the team stats together; and we would even strategize on when was the best time to play our “less gifted” players without severely hurting our chances to win a game! We even went outside to play catch occasionally. This was the first year that we ever played catch with each other. It took a while for it to happen, but it was definitely worth the wait.
He even drove me to batting cages and pitching clinics to help me out with my skills. When the batting cages were closed, he would throw me batting practice in front of the house. Bad idea! I hit one foul ball that found its way through the kitchen window. That was definitely a hysterical moment for both of us. We laughed until my mother discovered the broken window glass . . . which meant “game over . . . come eat dinner.” I eventually became one of the best baseball players in my area, and I owe much of that to my father for his time and commitment to my love of the game.
My father was my baseball coach for four consecutive summers. He coached my team until I was too old to play Babe Ruth. Soon thereafter, I finished high school and went off to college . . . and those baseball days were soon a thing of the past.
My life has seen 31 summers so far, but the summers that I remember most are those four summers that my dad coached my team. What’s better than playing on a team with all of your best friends as teammates, and having your father as your coach?? You just can’t beat that. To this day, we still recollect stories about those memorable summer days.
Our baseball team won several games during those four seasons. One season, we even won a championship, but that was just gravy. Even if we hadn’t won a single game, it wouldn’t have mattered. The time we spent together was priceless. I wouldn’t trade those four summers away for anything! Baseball definitely had a major impact on my relationship with my father. Dang . . . I sure do miss those summer days!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Marvin Harrison
Tags: African American Icons black history month marvin harrison
Campaign: African American Icons
Added: 2/4/2008 1:24 PM PT
Last Modified: 3/13/2008 9:11 PM PT
|
|
|
|
During my spare time, I occasionally assist a youth football team. I help coach a lot of talented young wide receivers and I am always looking for ways to motivate them to stay humble. One way I try to motivate them is by mentioning Marvin Harrison, the all-star wide receiver of the Indianapolis Colts.
Harrison has put up unbelievable numbers throughout his career and has several Pro Bowl appearances to show for it. In addition, he has one Super Bowl ring. He will be a no-brainer once he retires and is eligible to make the football Hall of Fame. He is one of the hardest working players in the league and deserves all of the accomplishments that come his way.
I don’t just admire Marvin because of his pure football skills. I admire the way he carries himself. He is the classiest wide receiver in the NFL. It is so rare to find a professional athlete of his caliber, and of his high salary, to act so humble on the field. He is even classy off the field, as he often gives back to the community. So many of these high paid receivers always feel the need to dance after every touchdown and taunt their opponents whenever they are winning. They are sore winners, and sore losers. When things go bad, they start pointing fingers and throwing temper tantrums. These grown men suddenly act like little 2 year olds. They do this on national television, with millions of people watching! Several of those people that are watching are our youth! What a great way to set an example for the kids, huh??
Marvin Harrison is one exception to all of these “diva” players. He has played in the league over 10 years, and you still never see him dance or celebrate after a big catch or touchdown. He acts like he’s been there before. And you know what? He HAS been there! When things go bad, he doesn’t yell at his quarterback or coaches or the referees. He simply walks back to the bench and prepares himself for next time his team gets the ball. I think he is the ultimate role model for all young football players.
I realize that a person like Martin Luther King, Jr. may be better qualified to be considered an "icon" . . . more so than a football player, and deservedly so . . . but we have to keep in mind who our kids are watching. Who is the future of our world watching? Who do our kids look up to? Do they look up to political figures? Do they look up to their brave police officers and fire fighters? Do they look up to their teachers? Well . . . a lot of our kids do look up to these people, but a lot more do not. A lot of young athletes look up to professional athletes because they have dreams of being just like them and doing the same things that they do. More kids dream of being a professional football player than a mayor or a policeman. This is why I think somebody like Marvin Harrison is a true icon for today's society.
When I’m with these young football players, I always say a quote that I came up with. It’s a quote I want them to live by, both on and off the field. I tell the kids “If what you do is worth bragging about, then others will do it for you.” Marvin Harrison is a perfect example of this quote. He is a true gentleman on the field. Several experts consider Marvin to be one of the greatest receivers of all time. And hey, guess what? Marvin never had to dance or brag to make these experts say this. I hope these young kids choose Marvin Harrison as someone to look up to. Marvin is not only a role model for football . . . he is a role model for life.
|
|
|
|
|
|
This slow talkin' farmboy needs your help
Tags: turbo, tax, jay, mohr, stand-up, funny, comedy, taxes
Campaign: TurboTax TaxLaugh Promoters Contest
Added: 1/25/2008 12:09 PM PT
Last Modified: 3/1/2008 11:02 AM PT
|
|
|
|
This Turbo TaxLaugh comedian should win because he grew up in Vermont, and nobody in Vermont wins anything! Nothing exciting ever happens to people from Vermont! How many famous people do you know that grew up in Vermont?? Still thinking?? This man spent the first 23 years of his life living on a large dairy farm, walking through cow manure everyday. During this whole time, people always told him he smelled like poop, but he had no idea. It was the smell that he was used to. He didn't know any different! Bless this poor man's heart! He lived a rough life growing up. He needs a break! He needs to win the $10,000 prize!
He also needs hair! He really doesn't have much hair underneath that cap. His hair is receding faster than his pride. He is too embarrassed to go to formal functions anymore. He only goes to dive bars, where he knows ball caps are always allowed. This is ok, but he is never going to meet his future wife at a run down dive bar. He needs to win this money so he can have hair implant surgery! This would greatly improve his sex appeal and could possibly even get him a girlfriend. If he gets a girlfriend, then perhaps his family will finally believe his claim of being a heterosexual.
This is a very talented man. He is very deserving of the prize. He is so talented that he wrote his own book, titled "How Cheap Can You Get?" which can be found on all major book sites. This fine book is a guide on how to be a certified cheapskate. It was very elegantly written, but for some reason, nobody appreciated this man's fine talents, as he has only sold 80 copies, 65 of which were purchased by family members who felt sorry for him. The other 15 were purchased by himself so he could have some books on hand if he ever needed to do a book signing. But so far, the only thing he has signed has been a waiver form for an "All You Can Eat Fungus" contest.
So, despite pouring his heart out in his book, nobody appreciated his efforts. People tell him that he is a cheap punk and is an embarrassment to society.
This poor man tries to make up for his flaws by informing everybody that he uses Turbo Tax to file his taxes; however, since using Turbo Tax is such a great and logical decision to make, people don't give him credit for it. They all think his mother told him to do it.
This man just needs a break in life! Vote for this cheap man! Vote for him with a smile! Smile because you made this man richer! Smile because you allowed this man to get hair implants! Smile because the people of this world will have one less widow's peak to look at!
Oh, by the way . . . please don't ask this man if he ever tipped a cow when he lived on a farm. The dude doesn't even tip his own waitress for God's sakes!
|
|
|
|
|
|
My Mom is da Bomb!
Tags: give your mom a break!
Campaign: Give Your Mom a Break!
Added: 2/14/2008 1:13 PM PT
Last Modified: 2/14/2008 1:13 PM PT
|
|
|
|
My mother deserves a break, and I don’t just mean she deserves a Kit Kat bar! My mother is the most un-selfish person I know. She has always put family first, no matter what.
When my mother married my father, she did not do your typical 9-5 office job, nor did she stay in the house all day and do dishes and laundry. I grew up on a large dairy farm. My mom got up at the crack of dawn and went to the barn every morning to milk cows and throw hay bales with my father. Farming is one of the most grueling and time consuming jobs you can think of. Plus, there are no days off in farming. The cows needed to be milked every day, TWICE a day!
Thankfully, after over 20 years of farming, we were finally able to get out of the farming business, as there was a “dairy buyout” in the state of Vermont. She then eventually got a job at a state college, where she worked for several years. Honestly, she did not enjoy this job. She is a very intelligent and resourceful person, so it would’ve been easy for her to find a new job, but she stuck with it. She stuck with it for three reasons . . . those 3 reasons were me and my 2 sisters. You see, as long as she stayed working at this state college, me and my sisters could go to any school in Vermont and get free tuition. Nice, huh?! It was very nice for me and my sisters, but I’m not sure my mother enjoyed slaving away at this job for all those years. But she stuck with it. She stuck with it for her children. She always puts our interests in front of hers.
My mother got divorced from my father about 8 years ago, but the divorce should’ve came much earlier. My father was unfaithful to my mother, but instead of getting a divorce immediately, she stuck with it and waited until me and my sisters were fully grown up and out of school. She wanted us all to grow up with a set of parents in the house. She wanted us all to have a “full family Christmas” every winter. She just wanted us to be happy. I found it bothersome that my mother did not get divorced earlier than she did, but hey, how can I get mad at my mother? How can I get mad at somebody who only wants me to be happy? Bad decision or not, you can’t get mad at somebody with such a huge heart.
“Family First” is always her motto. For the past 20 years, my mother has attended her family reunion. She just doesn’t attend the reunion . . . she RUNS the reunion! She sets up everything from making reservations at campsites, to cooking a ton of food, to changing grandkids’ diapers, to cleaning up everyone’s messes after they go back home. While the older crowd goes to have a late night drink by a campfire, my mother will stay in a cabin or tent and baby-sit all the children so those grown ups can enjoy their “adult time” at the campfire. My mother’s family is VERY large, and it would be easy for someone else to take control of the reunion duties, but my mother has always done it. She would love for someone else to run the show, but until someone else volunteers, she will continue to do it . . . because it’s all for family, and she always does whatever she can to get us all together.
My mother has 5 grandchildren in Vermont; however, she lives nearly 2 hours away from them and they are always too busy with ballets, little league baseball, ice hockey, and basketball to make it over to my mother’s house on the weekend. So . . . on her weekends, when it’s time to “relax,” my mother usually ends up driving 2 hours back and forth to visit her grandchildren. She will even make the drive on Christmas day no matter how much ice, sleet and snow is on the road. Nothing ever stops my mother from seeing her kids and grandkids!
During the past year, my mother was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease. Anybody who knows anything about this, knows that this is a very UNCOMFORTABLE situation to be in. But I’m happy to say that, after several hospital visits, my mother is recovering very well; however, she now has limitations, such as what types of food she can eat. Cheese products are a no-no for her, which is unfortunate because she LOVES her extra-cheesy pizza! But you know what? When she is around all the family, she will go and order 5 large extra-cheese pizzas! She can’t eat any of it it, but she doesn’t care. She knows everybody else can. That’s all she cares about. That’s the kind of person she is.
My mother came down to visit me in Florida a month ago. I was recently laid off from my job, so she offered me money to help me out. Keep in mind, my mother does not have the highest paying job, so she really shouldn’t be offering me ANY money! While taking my mother’s money would make life a bit more comfortable for me, I graciously refused the offer.
I looked at my mom and said “No, Mom, that’s OK. You’ve done more than enough for me, already.”
|
|
|
|