I actually asked to be a volunteer full time at my current job with a communications company. It's an awesome place to work as they not only take care of their employees but they are also tremendously active within the community. They said they would get back to me if anything pops up. OK, so I would be getting paid because I'm not independently wealthy, but the thought behind my request was to send me to the different non-profits that we work with and provide services for and do whatever they need.

Scrub toilets at the Women and Children's shelter? No problem! Provide arts and crafts instruction to children with mental handicaps that are confined to a hospital? OH YES!!!!!!!! Help a teacher with copying/stapling/cutting projects for 17 children? But of course! Dig up weeds and lay down sod at the Boys and Girls Club? You bet! Be an official hugger at a Special Olympics event? I WOULD LOVE TO! Dig up artifacts in the French Quarter? Let me get my trowel!

I don't know what it is about doing for others that makes me feel so complete. No matter the task at hand, I roll up my sleeves and dig in with gusto. Am I possessed? Probably so. I'd rather think of it as a gift that I love to share with others. It's a positive energy flow that quadruples when surrounded by people with the same giving spirit. It's what I do best so to me it's logical that volunteering is what I should be doing.

With my years of experience and skills that I've cultivated, I could be drop shipped anywhere in the world and I would find a way to make a difference. And that is my dream job...making a difference.

The school collage is from Literacy Day where I read to the children about Susan B. Anthony. This weekend I was at a parade and one of the students in the picture came up to me and said, "Hey, you read to my class!" And I thought they weren't paying attention!

This is how apathy poisoning makes me feel:

Hey Man Nice Shot!

Is it making a collage with scissors, glue and pictures? Is it manipulating images in a software program? Is it digging clay from the earth to coil, fire and glaze into a pot? Is it using only tools such as pen/ink/pastels to create a hand made drawing? Is it taking photos with a 35mm camera and developing your own film? Is it painting canvases with oils or acrylics? Is it twisting hot metal into a form of thought? Can you call yourself an artist if all you know how to use is the Paint program on your computer? What if you like to use crayons - can you call that art? I say to you, WHY NOT?

After viewing and reviewing submissions at Brickfish the past few months, I've noticed a sometimes snobby attitude about submitted art that's not on an "elite" scale. Brickfish demographics are probably teen to mid-twenties youth coming from all over the world not just the US. People should take into consideration that not everyone has the same level of ability, skills and thinking processes. This isn't a college art class where only the best of the best make it and the rest end up selling cars in Arizona . This is a place where everyone has a chance to show their stuff regardless of experience. It's not your perfectness that's going to win the prize or recognition. It's your ability to make the viewer feel what you want them to feel.

There's no shame in cutting and pasting if original ideas aren't flowing. Don't be fooled by people who tell you something isn't "original" because it contains already seen elements. It's original to YOU and that's what matters. There's a misconception whether inflicted on you by others or by  your own self that art has to be by the book, by the numbers and polished before being considered presentable. That's simply not true.

Take a walk through any festival and check out what the artists are offering. Some things are as complicated as hand blown glass while others are as simple as words cut out of a dictionary and glued on to magnets.  Sure it would be nice to have a gallery show with oodles of your work dripping from the walls. But that's not the end all nor is it the ultimate goal. Expressing yourself through your medium is an excellent goal. Because chances are there are people out there who would be profoundly affected by something you've done and when they see your pain/love/fear/happiness, they will truly identify with your work.

So let the perfect people keep doing their perfect craft. The rest of us crazies get to color outside the lines and express our individualism.

Back when I was little, television consisted of news, Lawrence Welk, Hee Haw, cartoons and Watergate. I was so mad when the reporters preempted my afternoon Speed Racer with a picture of the White House. We didn't have "cable," we had rabbit ears! Summers were full of pixie stix fake Kool-Aid, giant sweet tarts and swimming at the local pool. We didn't live inside...we played in the streets until dusk, dodging the mean kids and chasing the ice-cream man down the street for one of those awesome three-stage bomb pops. I miss those days.

TV today is nothing but background noise and TIVO (you've got to be kidding!) in case we "miss" our favorite shows. WHAT? I don't even know when SCRUBS is on. I forget to watch Dexter on Sunday nights. Everything else is immaterial. Tonight we sat down to dinner and afterwards, instead of turning on the TV, played Legos. The boys go tthe yellow, red and white while the girls got the green, black and blue. No noise except for the laughter and chuckles while we tried to wreck each others creations.

OK, so I know I can't BAN television from the household, but I can stop what I'm doing and actually listen to my kids, laugh at and with them, and help them expand their imagination beyond the couch.

Often in the past I've thought about the meat I eat but like most people push to the back of my mind the image of the face my dinner came from. After I had children I found I could no longer tolerate looking at a bloody medium-rare steak and started cooking it to done/well done status. I don't know if it was the unconscious linking of motherhood to the slaughter of someone's baby or what.

At Christmas last year instead of gettiing a honey-baked ham I had the brainy idea to cook a ham. Have you ever seen a ham hock??? It was covered in slime which I immediately had to rinse off before I could proceed with marinating it. Then there's the round band of fat....everywhere....and sticking out of the center was the thigh bone. I cooked it anyway and ate it, too, but the image stuck with me.

I ate veal. Once. On my birthday. About 12 years ago. I still remember how yummy it tasted. But I also knew it came from baby calves - very bad in my book - and I felt guilty for a long time. Even to this day I cringe when others talk about eating it.

A couple years ago my husband and I went to a buffet at a local casino - the food was supposed to be fantastic. When I rounded the salad bar corner I came face to face with the carving station. I just stood there, staring. In front of me was a WHOLE leg of a cow. I backed away slowly, shaking my head, thinking how awful it looked. Another memory, locked away in my meat files.

Which brings me to today. I'm in day three of turning vegetarian with the goal of eventually turning vegan. Yes, I know, how drastic. Someone who eats only plant based foods and absolutely NO animal products. And if you've ever read product labels, no doubt you've run across animal-based "contributions" in so many foods!

Flash back three days to me staying after work and studying for a Marketing test. I often stop reading and jump to a web site mentioned in the book then go back to my studies. One reference brought me to the PETA site, and from there, well, Bea Aurthur showed me a horrific look into a poultry treatment plant for KFC. Then I read more about "crated" chickens at egg farms. Which led me to pictures of pigs stuffed into corrals along with the dead. And of course, the sweet baby-faced cows tethered to a chute to which they can't even walk away from. Oh yes - and don't forget the force-feeding of geese to make their livers larger for the hoity-toity fois gras (pardon my spelling.)

So I made my choice right then and there. No animal would have to suffer to feed me. Not when there are plenty of plant-based products to choose from and vegetables and fruit galore. I know what your'e thinking - GOOD LUCK WITH THAT! Which is pretty much what a few of my co-workers have said (after tilting their head to one side as if to imply I was nuts.) Even my husband reacted with anger....I'm not sure why...and he was quick to ridicule my choice. I dismissed him with the statement that it's my decision and I'm not forcing anyone  else to go along with it. If my children ask why I do not eat meat, I will tell them honestly and plainly. They can decide for themselves if they want to join me.

Now I'm through with work for the week and off to my first visit to a Whole Foods store. I hear they have lots of innovative items for those nuts out there like me!

*****UPDATED 11/2/06**********

Well it's been pretty great so far! I have rediscovered my love of vegetables (which my husband and kids pretty much hate) and eating more complex foods as well as exploring soy alternatives. I love the vanilla soy milk as it's quite yummy like a breakfast drink. The soy yogurt was pretty good but the lemon had bits of rind in it which I didn't find appealing. Eating soy based yogurt means no fancy colors and it's always a surprise as to what color the yogurt will be when you tear off the lid! I just close my eyes and slurp away.

I did have a mishap with a party at work where I thought I was eating vegetable fried rice. Turns out those circular bright orange things were CHEWY and were actually shrimp! No harm no foul though. It's tough to go vegan so I"m just working with the vegetarian angle for now. I'm definitely more mindful of what I'm eating and even got a compliment that I'm losing weight.

The best thing so far for my sweet tooth is Tofutti Cuties. Little snack sized ice cream sandwiches. They really rock and are a great replacement for ice cream and contain no dairy or egg.

My husband has adjusted his shopping list to accommodate my needs which is sweet:) The kids don't even notice that I'm not eating the same thing they are. WOW has a veggie fajitta which was really good and I find that wherever I go or whatever I do it's just as easy to keep in the bunny hugging mode and make non-meat choices. Cows, chickens and pigs of the world, unite!!!

*****UPDATED 11/26/06**********

Well I survived the turkey holiday without eating any meat. I piled the veggies and such on my plate and no one even caught the ommission. It's becoming quite easy to eat veggies and starches. I pay particular attention to bread and pasta labels - if there's no fiber then I don't buy it. That applies to a lot of other foods, too, though it's still hardest to avoid eggs and milk in processed foods. I continue with the vanilla soy milk as it helps me to get my protein each day.

I'm trying to find other protein alternatives (did you know mushrooms are full of protein???) but I do find the smell of meat still tempting. Then I think about chickens with broken legs and wings, pigs slaughtered with their throats slashed, baby cows chained in pens and I pass it up. I dreamed last night I was trying to burn a pig (I know, GROSS) and I pulled it out of the fire and put it next to me on the bed under the blanket. It looked at me like I was its best friend even though I had just tried to make pork rinds out of him. That dream has stuck with me all day today. Truly strange but it makes me think.

My son, DJ, is five years old and in kindergarten. Yesterday his school celebrated fire safety and he got a sticker shaped like a sheild and a plastic fireman's hat. Which he left at school. He didn't realize it until my husband had already picked him up and drove the 10 miles to pick up our daughter from preschool. When DJ thought about the hat he started crying and was distraught. My husband, Dave, drove back to school and luckily it was still open and they were able to get the hat. All is well.

When I got home, I used the phone and then put it on the dresser in my room.  I'm talking to my husband when I hear a woman's voice on the phone. I turn to see my son standing with phone in his hand, the red light blazing that yes indeed, he has placed a call. At first I thought perhaps he had hit the redial button. No, not the case!

"911, what is your emergency?," is what I hear the voice say. I stuttered and laughed, telling her my son accidentally called 911. To which she replied, "Someone will be coming out regardless." Ok, well, I go turn on the porch lights and we all go outside to wait for the offier. DJ was crying and totally freaked out that the police were coming. I asked him what he thought he was doing by calling them, and he said, "I was just going to trick them!" Sounds good to a five year old, but not to the parent.

When the patrol car pulls up, my son ran for the door screaming like a banshee. He slammed it shut and hid in his room. My husband went back inside as we both agreed the little fart needed to understand the repercussions of his actions. He was clinging to his dad like a monkey to its momma...very sad. DJ settled down though when he saw the police man was not mad. The officer told him he could call 911 but only if it was an emergency. DJ nodded solemly and his sister, Brenna (who's four) didn't utter one peep the whole time.

Imagine how quiet the rest of the evening was....for fear the officer was still lurking outside!!!