My mother deserves a break, and I don’t just mean she deserves a Kit Kat bar! My mother is the most un-selfish person I know. She has always put family first, no matter what.
When my mother married my father, she did not do your typical 9-5 office job, nor did she stay in the house all day and do dishes and laundry. I grew up on a large dairy farm. My mom got up at the crack of dawn and went to the barn every morning to milk cows and throw hay bales with my father. Farming is one of the most grueling and time consuming jobs you can think of. Plus, there are no days off in farming. The cows needed to be milked every day, TWICE a day!
Thankfully, after over 20 years of farming, we were finally able to get out of the farming business, as there was a “dairy buyout” in the state of Vermont. She then eventually got a job at a state college, where she worked for several years. Honestly, she did not enjoy this job. She is a very intelligent and resourceful person, so it would’ve been easy for her to find a new job, but she stuck with it. She stuck with it for three reasons . . . those 3 reasons were me and my 2 sisters. You see, as long as she stayed working at this state college, me and my sisters could go to any school in Vermont and get free tuition. Nice, huh?! It was very nice for me and my sisters, but I’m not sure my mother enjoyed slaving away at this job for all those years. But she stuck with it. She stuck with it for her children. She always puts our interests in front of hers.
My mother got divorced from my father about 8 years ago, but the divorce should’ve came much earlier. My father was unfaithful to my mother, but instead of getting a divorce immediately, she stuck with it and waited until me and my sisters were fully grown up and out of school. She wanted us all to grow up with a set of parents in the house. She wanted us all to have a “full family Christmas” every winter. She just wanted us to be happy. I found it bothersome that my mother did not get divorced earlier than she did, but hey, how can I get mad at my mother? How can I get mad at somebody who only wants me to be happy? Bad decision or not, you can’t get mad at somebody with such a huge heart.
“Family First” is always her motto. For the past 20 years, my mother has attended her family reunion. She just doesn’t attend the reunion . . . she RUNS the reunion! She sets up everything from making reservations at campsites, to cooking a ton of food, to changing grandkids’ diapers, to cleaning up everyone’s messes after they go back home. While the older crowd goes to have a late night drink by a campfire, my mother will stay in a cabin or tent and baby-sit all the children so those grown ups can enjoy their “adult time” at the campfire. My mother’s family is VERY large, and it would be easy for someone else to take control of the reunion duties, but my mother has always done it. She would love for someone else to run the show, but until someone else volunteers, she will continue to do it . . . because it’s all for family, and she always does whatever she can to get us all together.
My mother has 5 grandchildren in Vermont; however, she lives nearly 2 hours away from them and they are always too busy with ballets, little league baseball, ice hockey, and basketball to make it over to my mother’s house on the weekend. So . . . on her weekends, when it’s time to “relax,” my mother usually ends up driving 2 hours back and forth to visit her grandchildren. She will even make the drive on Christmas day no matter how much ice, sleet and snow is on the road. Nothing ever stops my mother from seeing her kids and grandkids!
During the past year, my mother was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease. Anybody who knows anything about this, knows that this is a very UNCOMFORTABLE situation to be in. But I’m happy to say that, after several hospital visits, my mother is recovering very well; however, she now has limitations, such as what types of food she can eat. Cheese products are a no-no for her, which is unfortunate because she LOVES her extra-cheesy pizza! But you know what? When she is around all the family, she will go and order 5 large extra-cheese pizzas! She can’t eat any of it it, but she doesn’t care. She knows everybody else can. That’s all she cares about. That’s the kind of person she is.
My mother came down to visit me in Florida a month ago. I was recently laid off from my job, so she offered me money to help me out. Keep in mind, my mother does not have the highest paying job, so she really shouldn’t be offering me ANY money! While taking my mother’s money would make life a bit more comfortable for me, I graciously refused the offer.
I looked at my mom and said “No, Mom, that’s OK. You’ve done more than enough for me, already.”