A man walks into a scientist's lab looking to buy a new brain. He asks the scientist how much the brains cost. The scientist says, "Well first we have a normal human brain, it costs $1000, next we have a scientist's brain, it costs $5000, and then we come to a politician's, it costs $10,000." "How come the politician's brain costs so much?", asks the man. The scientist replies, "Because it's never been used."

A positive attitude brings strength, energy and initiative. Good Luck!

"The future depends on what we do in the present." Mahatma Gandhi

Good Luck!

Once a man and a woman were watching the news when they saw a man at the top of a building threatening to jump off. The woman said "I bet you fifty bucks he's going to jump off, what do you say?" The man said "sure," They watched carefully for 10 minutes when the man jumps off. The man hands over the 50 bucks and says "good job," The woman looks guilty and says "I'm sorry, here's your fifty bucks back, I saw the earlier showing and I knew the man was going to jump off," then man says "don't worry, I saw it too, I just didn't think he'd do it again.

A few moments after the daughter announced her engagement, her Father asked, "Does this fellow have any money ?" The daughter shook her head sadly. "Oh Daddy ! You men are all alike." sighing deeply, she replied, "That's exactly what he asked me about you."

Sunday v & s for this great entry!

Teacher: Why are you late? Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? Student: No. I was standing on it.

Pushing the green before I head out of town, I'll be back on Sunday. :)

A visitor to a certain college paused to admire the new Hemingway Hall that had been built on campus. "It's a pleasure to see a building named for Ernest Hemingway," he said. "Actually," said his guide, "it's named for Joshua Hemingway. No relation." The visitor was astonished. "Was Joshua Hemingway a writer, also?" "Yes, indeed," said his guide. "He wrote a check."

Now I Lay Me Down to Study, I Pray the Lord I Won't Go Nutty. If I Should Fail to Learn this Junk, I Pray the Lord I Will Not Flunk. But If I Do, Don't Pity Me at All, Just Lay My Bones In the Study Hall. Tell My Prof I Did My Best, Then Pile My Books upon My Chest. Now I Lay Me Down to Rest, And Pray I'll Pass Tomorrow's Test. If I Should Die Before I Wake, That's One less Test I'll Have to Take.

My mom had recently been hospitalized and had some tests ran and she got the results back. Her doctor told her that there is a spot on one of her lungs. She will get another test soon where they put a scope into her lung to see exactly what that spot is. I'm so scared and sad. If you are the praying type please say a prayer for her I'd really appreciate it.

A couple had been married for 25 years and was celebrating the husband's 60th birthday. During the party, a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them one wish each. The wife said, "We've been so poor all these years, and I've never gotten to see the world. I wish we could travel all over the world." The fairy waved her wand and POOF! She had the tickets in her hand. Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, and then said, "Well, I'd like to be married to a woman 30 years younger than me." The fairy waved her wand and POOF! He was 90.

It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: "Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing." Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: "Will the twelve hundred students who went to move 26 cars return to class."