Who Am I?

When people ask me “Who are you,” I simply reply by saying my name, Amanda Sandrock. If I were to say the true meaning it would be nothing but… Chaos, for there is too many words to tell my full description. On the outside I am just an ordinary girl, but beneath the surface lies the evidence of who I truly am. Today I am nowhere near the perfect person, nor will I ever be, but there are ways I plan to improve. Only I can determine the “Real me,” and only I can prove my identity.

I like to consider myself effervescent, fun, crazy, dynamic, generous, outgoing, bubbly etcetera, but then again I have my bad qualities. Sometimes I can catch an attitude, and get myself into trouble, but usually I mean nothing of it. After all we all make mistakes, and should be forgiven depending on the situation. Yes, I care about my reputation and what people think of me, especially if they look at me in a negative manner, rude names can upset me, but I will never act differently to impress someone. I tend to get distracted easily, unless it is something that must get done. Usually I am very determined to achieve success, and I strive for only the best. When I mess up or make a careless mistake I react very strongly to it and criticize myself, whether the problem is solved afterward or not. Occasionally, I fail to use all of my ability, or lack confidence, causing stress and disappointment.

            There are many ways to entertain me, I am known to laugh at nearly everything, but in my opinion if I wore braces for 1/3 of my lifetime, I should appreciate the beauty it has done for me and smile. I prefer to stay active by participating in several sports, volleyball being a particular favorite. I also play basketball, softball, and currently I am on the cheerleading squad. When I have spare time, I relax by listening to music, which happens to be a passion. There is rarely a time I am not singing or dancing. When I am alone I love to lie down and imagine, I let go of all of my worries and let my mind wander into fairy tale world or just wherever. What gets me the most is the times I amuse myself, it is indescribable the way I make myself laugh; I just do.

It may sound crazy but I have plenty of friends that I cherish and will always remember, but then again I can never put my life in their hands. I barely trust or depend on any of them, and it is not because they are bad people, it is the matter of how many times I have been hurt. Just like the saying, “The good suffer for the bad.” For many of years I was walked on and disrespected by others and I had to learn the hard way that not everyone is what you like them to be. I no longer expect friends to do stuff for me I would rather be independent and get things done my way. Of course this will prepare me for the “Real world,” well at least that is what my parents tell me. So from here on out, I am practically on my own, with the exception of God.  

Instead of looking behind at the past I will continue to journey. Each day I will learn something new, make more mistakes, either become a stronger or weaker person, but only time will tell. I will have zero regrets only millions of mistakes, and I will gladly accept them, for they have made me everything I am. As for my future, I will continue to reach until I have grasped my destination.