Well one time I was going on a motorcycle journey across the Atlantic on this big swaying bridge and then I fell into the water and sunk to the bottom. I managed to get to a big sparkling golden underwater cave where I met Clive Owen, who then proceeded to pick me up and take me to a cathedral in Glasgow so that we could make out in an air duct.

True story. My dreams are bonkers.

My goals and aspirations, however, are to earn enough money to be able to attend UW in Seattle, and subsequently become a vicious, powerful, frenzied (yet endearing) muckraker of a journalist, a regular Ida Tarbell. Give me a machete and a newspaper and I'll show you what-fer.